Life is...

... is what?

How do you see life? Has your life been treating you well?

As mentioned, I was not in the best of mood for some time... But I also realised that some of my friends are also not in the best of shape at the moment... And I am not meaning their body shape... I mean their life...

I can't sleep and sent a message to a friend at 2plus in the morning... I wrote this: '人生就像一条山路，不易走。有许多滑坡，弯曲不平的部分。有朋友一起陪着走会比较轻松，不过累了就该歇会儿。一定要记得，路还是要得走完。朋友还是会在等你。' I think I was being a little too emo again... But I guess I had summarised what I wanted to hear from others also... That life is not an easy road to travel on but we need to move on, take it in stride, rest when necessary and try to enjoy the trip with friends...

Why is it that i can say such things to friends but i can't it to myself?

Anyway, I just wanna say a big 'THANK YOU' to whoever considers themselves as friends to the Buaya. Not many people wanna recognised as my friends and not many even wanna be known as knowing me... Thus I appreciate those who are with me and consider me as their friend. :)

Life is not treating me well... I am gay, I dun have friends to grow up with, I am not rich, I dun have a lot of things a lot of other people have now, I never learnt to play the piano, or the guitar, I dun have the will to stay fit, I am balding, I am fat but not a stock or a cub or a chub, I am not handsome, I am geeky, I am nerdy but I am an IT idiot, I am addicted to sex, I am a slut, I cannot feel the sextisfaction of being a bottom at all, I have a boyfriend who dun seem to like sex with me and whom I feel is always taking me for granted, I do not have a job that pays well, I can't find a job that will pay me well, I dunno what I wanna work as, I dun know what I wanna be... especially in life.

But I guess, I should be glad that although life is not treating me well, it is not treating me THAT badly... I should not fall out with my life... Sometimes, it will win, sometimes, I win. I guess I should learn to deal with it... Without much negativity and disturbing thoughts...

Urghhhh!... Haiz... I need a break... I really need a rest...

Thanks for reading...