The fragile relationship
Hmm...
A friend of mine had his 9-year old relationship ended.
I pondered if I am rubbing salt to his wound by writing about this... But I guess since it had happened almost a week liao and he wanna move on liao... And I am somewhat quite affected... I guess writing about it now should be ok bah... So sorry, K, if you are reading this... Be strong and dun dwell on it... *hugs*
My relationship with boy is in its 5th year... And so I kinda understand what my friend was going thru... When you are in a relationship for a long time, sometimes, you can feel more empty than you would if you are single...
After a long time together, if you do not stay together, do not share intimacy time together, do not share a common goal, a common dream, it is very difficult to start having the feeling of drifting away from one another...
I am always worried about this with boy... That's why I want to be intimate with him... But he is not into being intimate with me... And we dun really share a lot of common hobbies and dreams... Manyatimes, I really wonder if we will make it in the long term... Should I keep the relationship growing? Is love alone enough to maintain the relationship? Is love still going to be there after, 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, etc years later? If love is not around, what is it that will keep us together? A dog? A flat? A marriage certificate?
Anyway, I realise a relationship can really be so fragile now... Why would our parents' and grandparents' generation can see long marriage while the people nowadays seek escape from a relationship and its problems so easily?
I am not saying my friend and his ex gave up too easily... Each relationship has its own problems and we outsiders won't know... But it is always sad and upsetting to learn of people breaking up... Especially since they had been together for a long time... 9 years is definitely not a short period of time...
And to add on, my colleage informed me that she is seperating with her husband soon... And they had been dating since her school days and married when she graduated... And they overcame family objections to be married... Its really upsetting to learn that they had to go the seperation round...
Hmm... The relationship is really fragile... If we are in it, we want out... But without a relationship, we feel lonely... Haiz...
I feel my friend and my colleague are stronger than me... I am pretty upset and sometimes thinking about their situation, I feel very sad and sometimes a little angry and feel like crying...
Oh well...
Suddenly feel like listening to this song, 梦一场, by 那英
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCEgtVOPpmI
May be all is like a dream...
Thanks for reading...
posted by Buaya @ 1:05 PM
2 Comments:
I know someone have over 15 years relationship. I am not a master in gay relationship. Because, we always look for something news & exciting. We are bounced to separate at the end. Based on my gay friend who could keep to keep his relationship long enough. He told me open relationship and honesty is very important. He has his a day off from his bf rada once a week. He can do anything and must practise safe sex. And it works. I have a boy who is working in overseas. We are trying hard to maintain the long distance relationship. I hope i could keep it for long term.... or forever.
I think u just feel insecure for your relationship, and usually insecurity causes harm to the relationship. I am also not good in any relationship, but I think trust plays an important part on it. my 2c.
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